The first time I saw him was in tenth grade. I went to my math class at 5:00 pm. He got out from his class and sat on the bench in the front of my classroom door. He was very handsome and tall. I was impressed with his height. I could't control my eyes, I just kept looking at him and suddenly he looked back. We just kept looking at each other for a couple of minutes. The bell rang, I had to go to class. Nothing ever happened after that for months.
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| My high school |
In my school, when we have midterm and final tests, we will take them with another class. He and I went to the same room to take the test. Oh my god, I was so happy and excited. I was so shy and I could never muster the courage to tell him how I felt every time I saw him. We finished tenth grade, nothing happened.
Months later, we went back to school after a long summer break. I thought I had totally forgotten him. We went to eleventh grade together but in different classes. When I walked around in the school yard, I saw him and he smiled at me. All my feelings for him came back. I just talked to my best friend about him and wondered if he liked me or not. His classmate told me; he went out with another girl I knew when I was in middle school and they were dating. I thought to myself: " all right he has a girlfriend already, so just forget about him."
Suddenly, one day he and that girl came to my class looking for me. I mumble to myself :" What is going on, don't tell me you guys are dating now." When I stepped into the hallway I looked at them and asked: "What happened?" The girl held his hand and said :"We are dating now". I felt so bad but smiled a strained smile. He let go of her hand and told me :" No , don't believe her. We are just friends." She left after that, just he and I stayed in the hallway. He told me he didn't have a girlfriend and told me not to believe in everything his classmate said. He said he really liked me. Oh my god I couldn't believe it was true. I melted in my shoes and I couldn't say anything. He asked me:" Do you have anything to ask me?" I just said :" No" and looked another way. The bell rang, we went back to class. I couldn't focus on class for the rest of day.
We were too busy with much testing for 12th grade. Someone told him I didn't like him and it was just a joke or a game which I played with my friends. We didn't talk anymore. He didn't come to my class or ask me about that. I don't know why I didn't talk to him or explain either. At that time, I just wanted to focus on school because I was going to college after that.
His parents decided to move to America with his grandparent. Weeks later, he wanted to talk to me but I said I didn't have time. I didn't know he would be moving the week after. I was surprised about that. I was so sad when I learned he had moved already. I wished I could go back to that day I would tell him I liked him and it was true and it wasn't a joke, but it was too late. I cried so hard for that.
High school was the best time for me because I have many memories about friends, teachers and my first love. I still remember him as a memory when I was young. In my culture and with my generation, it is the most we can do when we were in high school. We just looked at each other and nothing could happen after that. We were very innocent at that time.
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